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[Newsletter Draft: "My taste isn't arrogant—you’re just short on popcorn."]

"Just a guy who skips premieres and munches on popcorn."

At first, I thought this was all a scam. But lately, I’ve been busy battling the Facebook algorithm.

I posted a short clip reviewing the movie The Hunt for Red October, just casually throwing in, "This is the best submarine movie ever." Suddenly, the algorithm decided to blast my video—from an account with only two Facebook friends—to god knows who across the globe.

The funniest part? The comment section turned into a holy war.

Some guy actually wrote: "You’re too arrogant. You’re killing our culture."

Are you kidding me? Since when does having The Hunt for Red October as my favorite submarine movie make me "arrogant"? It’s not my taste that’s arrogant; it’s your holier-than-thou attitude toward cinema that’s the problem. I watch movies to eat popcorn and have a good time, not to worship them like sacred texts.

Honestly, I love it.

The more that hater rants, the higher my views climb. The algorithm loves a good fight, and these people are basically doing my marketing for free. Keep getting triggered, guys—the view counts are delicious.

I’m starting this newsletter from zero.

Don’t come crawling back three years from now when you read a headline about how much money this business makes. Keep munching your popcorn and watch me tear this scene apart from day one.

Coming up in the next issue: "I’m dropping my list of the absolute 'worst' submarine movies. If you thought my take on Red October was arrogant, you’re going to have a meltdown over this one."

If you want to challenge my taste, reply to this newsletter with your own recommendations. I’ll be happy to roast them one by one.

If you’re still just lurking instead of subscribing, don’t come crying when I trash your favorite movie later. Hit the subscribe button now. I’m the biggest villain in this scene, and you’re just watching the show.